Let’s go out and get a nice, clean, well-stacked burger – Said no one ever.

One of my favourite things about the ads we see is that fast food ads are so beautified even though we all know it’s a load of B.S. (beef shit). No one is upset or let down when they order their Big Mac only to find that it’s leaning to one side, spewing chopped lettuce all over, holding two thin slabs of beef. So why do advertisers continue to take this approach?

It was not long ago that I ordered my usual at McDonalds: two McDoubles, sometimes dressed as a Mac, and found it didn’t look like the masterpiece they show in the ads. No surprise. It also wasn’t a slouching sandwich like we now expect to get. It was a decent looking burger. Real mediocre. In my eyes, the eyes of a young man who loves his tasteless, unhealthy food, this is a wonderful sight. If only I had taken a picture.

The approach they should take is the approach that will get a response from the people who love a dirty burger. The guys and gals (mostly guys) that don’t get the salads, or the fancy sandwiches that fast food joints are offering to avoid the messy lawsuits when heart attacks happen on site.

Burgers aren’t supposed to be works of art that look perfect and stand 5 inches tall. They’re supposed to be messy and falling apart. You don’t eat a burger with a fork and knife. You eat them with your hands (which don’t have to be clean) and lick the grease and ketchup from your fingertips afterwards.

This approach should be the mediocre burger. Not mediocre in taste, mediocre in shape, and posture. The approach should portray the real thing: a beef patty between two buns with all the other crap hidden within.

Even the gourmet burger shop The Works, known especially by the Ottawa crowd serves its exotic burgers imperfect, because, like I said, it’s the way they’re meant to be.

It’s 2013 and advertisers are still trying to make mouths water with incredibly unrealistic expectations. It’s lame, it’s not creative and no ones watching anymore.